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And so it begins… (Part III)

Where was I… oh yeah!  I left my therapist numb and my entire being knew that this was the final straw.  I began to plan my inevitable departure from America.  This was a very intense period, almost a total blur to me.  Going to pioneering institutes, meeting Baha’i friends that have pioneered or wished to do so each giving me advise, material support and even traveling gear and of course lots of prayers and blessings for my future trip.  Finally  I gave my 2 weeks notice at work, sold my CD collection (over 500 CDs, which was a big deal for me) and finally my car.

Music was my life.  From my job at Tower Records to my music production major and of course managing various acts ranging from techno pop, to alternative rock, to pop/R&B  to just plain bad pop. But over time fame being that illusive thing she is wore me down, I was already getting impatient after 8 years of being involved in music 24/7.  With one of my bands “American Dream” leaving me and signing an Interscope Record deal as the band “Cola” and my other band Yuska’s closest brush at success was sharing the same practice studios as the Himalayans (the Adam Duritz group before he went off and started Counting Crows) I was realizing that something wasn’t right.  There was more to my life than the ephemeral life of entertainment.  I had another destiny calling for me (About my exploits in the Baha’i teaching project in 1993, I’ll save that for another post, suffice it to say that this 8 month experience was the catalyst for leaving America for good…).

I remember that one moment as I drove down from Sebastopol to San Francisco over the Golden Gate Bridge in April with “Mayonaise” by the Smashing Pumpkins blaring and taking in the city in all its splendor for what seemed to be the last time.  This was one of the most memorable drives of my eintire life, a peak experience as they call it.  It was then that I realized I was leaving my youth – that San Francisco State University music production graduate that wanted to become a music talent manager so badly as he tried to fit into the local music scene.  That boy-man who lived on the outer most edge of the Western world inhabiting a space in between a worldly fetish/fantasy of being immersed in the center of the SF music scene, with the diploma to prove it, and at the same time soaring in the spiritual realm following the idealist visionary of the Founder of the Baha’i Faith yearning so bad to place the Revelation of that great Personage into the hearts and minds of the people opened to the prospect of unity of all the peoples and religions of the world…  It was this boy-man who yielded himself on that April spring day to his Creator and said, “Do with me as you wish I am yours…”

With the car and the CDs sold, all my debts paid off, tickets from SF to Macau purchased I began to prepare myself.  Prayer, meditation, and an intense yearning to serve mankind…  Then a week before my flight at the San Francisco Baha’i Center during a 2 day youth teaching project I met Chris Willows.  She gave a presentation about the Marion Jack Teaching Project IV that was going on that summer (a little under 2 months away) and that they were taking volunteers.  I asked if she could get a visa to China and she said yes.  I wrote a check for $80 and that was it, the process for my first Russian visa was in motion.  I was ready for my trip to Asia and the Divine orchestration had given me a Chinese AND Russian visa, now I as set…

(this submission was made under the influence of a -25 Celsius Siberian friday night in December to the tune of Joseph Arthur “In the Sun” performed by Peter Gabriel and Joseph Arthur… that’s right both versions I’m in love with…)

This is where coffee starts… beautiful isn’t it?

The Beginning of a Discourse on Social Action in Novosibirsk

So, a couple months ago I was going to give a talk to a group of youth from several organizations when a close friend and associate of mine, Delafruz Nasimova, suggested that we invite them to a LazosLearning course “A Discourse on Social Action.”  Now I’ve been a follower of the FUNDAEC and LazosLearning courses for some time and had wanted to participate myself in such a course, so I was all thumbs up.

Now before I go on I should tell a bit about FUNDAEC and LazosLearning.  FUNDAEC (which is an acronym in Spanish for “The Foundation for the Application and Teaching of the Sciences”) is a not-for-profit, non-governmental organization that has dedicated over 30 years to fostering processes of learning, training, and development in the rural areas of Colombia and an increasing number of countries in Latin America.  LazosLearning offers online courses based on materials from FUNDAEC, these learning materials are focused on developing the capacity in individuals to work together to contribute effectively to social change.  These materials are quite paradigm changing and very intense, to say the least.

At the talk, after the usual discussion about Traveler’s Coffee and the role in the business community here in Novosibirsk that I hoped to play we got on to the subject of social action. I did a brief introduction about what DSA (Discourse on Social Action) was and went into an what turned out to be a very well received discussion about “discourse” and “understanding” of the problems of general society and the internal conflicts that exist in us and our approaches to social issues.

I wrote on the flip chart the word “addiction to narcotics” and asked, “What can you say about drug addiction?”  They proceeded to say things such as, “a killing disease”, “death”, “a social problem”, “destroyer of families”, “mafia business”, etc.  A whole list of negative realities.  Then on the other side of the flip chart I wrote the word “narcotics” and again asked, “What can you say about narcotics?”  The answers were very interesting, “stress relieving”, “illegal business”, “helps creative thinking”, “entertainment”, “bad for your health”, etc.

After all that was done I asked if they saw any difference between the two lists.  They began to say that one list was filled with negative concepts whereas the other list was more positive and almost acceptable concepts.  We discussed how these two perceptions were in conflict with each other and that addiction to narcotics was unacceptable where as narcotics were almost acceptable.  Then I asked, “If we were going to make a social program, wouldn’t it be good to have our ideas about narcotics and addiction to narcotics in harmony, this is why we need a Discourse on Social Action.”  Then I said let me make this even harder and wrote on the flip chart the word “alcohol”.  Then said, “Now we are in a mess of trouble…”  Our opinions about all these words are in such sharp contrast and conflict that real social action and change is very hard to achieve.  To find the true causes of such deep-rooted social ills is not easy and to cure them even harder…

So, after all that I invited them to the “Discourse on Social Action” course and we started almost two weeks later…

Coming soon…

• A Discussion with the USAID rep.

15 Years In Russia… What Have I Become?

An old acquaintance asked me on my facebook just the other day, “What are some of the things you’ve learned about yourself, and about culture (American and Russian) in your new home? What do you appreciate about Russian culture? What do you appreciate about your mother culture?”

So, I responded:  Great questions. The most important thing that I’ve learned from my multi-cultural life is that the Baha’i model is the only thing that’s kept me really afloat here. First off I’ve avoided the trap of extreme chauvinism that ails many ex-pats here and makes it so they can’t stick around for more than a few years. When one lives long term in another cultural setting and has to learn the language, learn the ropes and navigate for short & long term there is a fatigue that sets in (about 5 years max.). Then people just drop out. The 1-3 years group is large the 5 year group is half. The more than five year group is 1 in God knows how many (very, very small) This is fatigue. Not willing to really learn the language, not willing to accept or tolerate certain ways of doing things or thinking. Insisting your way is right. Just plain not able to metamorphosis into another creature. Early on I was following instructions from the Beloved Guardian that the Baha’i pioneers should be ready to bury their bones in the pioneering field. So, that was long term. So, after the first year and after my marriage to Sveta, when people asked me what nationality I was I would say, “Sibirikanits” (A word I made up that combines the word Sibirak, person from Siberia with the word Amerikanits, American). This is a funny attention grabber but at the same time the underlying underlying reality is that’s what I’ve become. No longer that and not quite this. I think this is the first step to world citizenship… With that being said on to your questions: What I’ve learned about myself? I’ve learned that I am both patient and impatient and decisive and indecisive all at once. Being in the two culture family and being the head of a business with over 500 people I have to be patient and consultative. But sometimes I have to make the decision that’s not right and the perspective is under a false premise. The Ruhi institute materials and the parent organization FUNDAEC has really helped me. There is a thorough investigation of truth by separating un-useful concepts in our paradigms from birth and what the new paradigm should look like and what should that paradigm be based on. So, what I’ve learned is that I should always be learning and not insisting until I’ve distilled what is TRUTH based on what is right from that which is an indoctrinated idea that may very well be a myth (on either the American or Russia side of my cultural fence). A great example of this TRUTH is a recent conversation I had with a business partner of mine. He told me of a conversation he had just had with a very well educated Russian professor of economics. The conversation went something like this… the professor asked, “Why do we need transparency?” My partner began to give a bunch of arguments, like in the long run it will pay off, but from the Russian point of view it seems the opposite, transparency is the formula for closing your business because it will not be profitable. One argument after another the professor batted down with examples of why one should not be transparent. Finally my business partner remembered the argument that Baha’u'llah used about why one should be honest and truthful, “Because it’s right!” As he relayed the story to me he said that the professor’s face totally changed and said something like, “Now that’s the real reason why…” This example shows that there are things that are universal and we should build on them, this is what will be the foundation of our new endeavors, our truly joint-ventures, our new civilization… What do I appreciate about Russian culture? Russians. A Russian friend is a friend that will do anything for you, I mean really. I always use the example that if my tire goes flat somewhere here my Russian friend will do a back flip to come and help me literally come and help me. My American friend will complain why don’t you have triple A… I appreciate Russian’s hospitality in their homes, their overly concerned attitude toward my well-being. I appreciate their honesty – blunt, hard, no holds barred and sometime way too psychoanalytical, honesty. I appreciate Russians for who they are in their heart. I love the “Russian soul” as they call it. That’s what attracted me and that’s why I stayed. What do you appreciate about my mother culture? Getting “shtuff” done, damn it! Results! The bottom line… This ornery, cantankerous, burning desire to do things. That’s what I love about my mother culture…

“If you can’t measure it, you can’t manage it.”

This old management adage from the great management consultant Peter Drucker is one of those recent quotes that came at the right place and at the right time.  I’ve been trying to get a handle of the stuff I do at work and in my Baha’i activities and it seems that this just about sums it up.  When we don’t have a way to measure our changes and growth then we can not manage the process we are involved in.

This quote comes after a very interesting bout of various conferences and meetings on this central principle that can be used from human resource development to planning and expansion and consolidation processes, from production processes to of course financial reporting and planning…  It is a universal principle for getting anything done!

Just thought I’d share this new and yet very old idea and principle…

The Grass Is Always Greener…

So, it all started back in spring of this year (2009), when one of my coffeehouse managers came to me and said that the city had asked us to get our parking lot cleaning done by a local company called “Green City”.  Now when the local bureaucrat tell you to do something like that it’s a code for here’s a new company which is indirectly owned by me… yes cowboys you guessed it the bribe.

Now a little background here is necessary the direct bribe (you know envelop under the desk) is a risky business for all involved and there’s no accountability for either side.  So, the bribe has evolved from a direct to a quote “service”.  Now back to our story…

So, a few months later a different coffeehouse of ours gets a letter from the “Green City” that we are supposed to do the landscaping next to the coffeehouse.  and we have to pay about $350.  Now I’m getting irritated but my business partner, Anwar, says don’t mess with them.  So, we say do the landscaping will pay.  A few weeks later my manager at that coffeehouse comes in and says that they did practically nothing but rake the dirt and clean up some twigs and plant a few ratty plants.  The funniest part is how there’s no hiding who the workers are, they came in with their construction worker orange vests with the City of Novosibirsk printed on the back.  When the manager asked them what organization they were from they knew nothing of this “Green City”.  So, their is my tax rubles going to work, in a business that charges me money to make my landscaping for me with these city workers.  Wait it gets better…

Now that their “work” is done they start calling my manager asking when we are going to pay.  Our manager says, “After you do some work…”  The lady on the phone asks for her to come and see her.  Now remember we’re the client of “Green City”.  So, she (our manager) goes to this Green City company which consist literally of this one lady who called.  She rails our manager and says and “Do you know who we are?” speech and tells her to pay the money or their will be a problem.  My manager then comes to me and tells me the situation.  I tell her to go back and ask them, kindly, to do better work so that we can together make the city a prettier place and after that meeting pay them so we don’t get into a huge conflict with the city.  Total silence… I here nothing about the situation for a month.

The day before yesterday my manager calls and says we received an award from the city.  I said, “What award?”  She responds, “For the best landscaping in our region of the city.”  She received the award from the same lady at Green City.  And when she gives her the award she insinuates that, “This is what you paid for.”  So, pay a local bureaucrat’s company for a “service”, get a real bad service and then for your payment instead of a normal service you get and AWARD CERTIFICATE…

We’ve come along way from the old days.

And so it begins… (Part II)

The confusion didn’t last long.  In fact almost immediately the confirmation that I was going to be traveling soon was amazing.  From that one intense prayer and the subsequent meditation to a series of events (signs that made it clear to me what I should do next…) which catapulted me to the shores of Asia.  I’ll will keep share only two of the most memorable experiences…

The next week I was in the park with a group of Baha’is and we began to tell this neat Filipino guy about the Baha’i Faith.  After some time he looked at me and another Baha’i I was with, Shahla, and said, “You know who really needs this message?”  We waited and there it was, he said it.  ”China.”  I was in shock.  I looked at him, then Shahla, then him again.  [Background note: Shahla was leaving to China in a week, she was a student and was on one of her many exchange trips to China, Shanghai to be exact].  This guy went on to say that, “… they (the Chinese) really need this message you guys should both go there…”  Now the real kicker was that the guys name was Angel (no joke boys and girls!).  So, for a person who has already decided to leave on a trip and is looking for confirmation as to what to do and where to go when an “Angel” tells you that you should go to China, they need you there then you better believe it that’s a memorable experience and I really began to take this China thing seriously.  But that was just the beginning the next event takes the prize for WTW (What the what!!!  Way off the map, mystical, creepy, “I see dead people”, experiences…”

[Background note:  I was nearing the end of my "year of patience" process.  A year of separation is what Baha'is do instead of immediately getting a divorce.  They take a year of patience from each other and try to work things out and therefore try to keep unity among themselves and the Baha'i community.  If that doesn't work they can get a divorce (there's a bit more to it than this but that's the gist).  So, when I started my year of patience I went to a therapist to see what I could learn about myself from this experience, my marriage, and to make sure that I could grow from the experience instead of wallow in doubt and self-pity]

So, I was in one of my last sessions with my therapist, who as a very wonderful woman savvy in practical spiritual matters and related very well to my experiences and my spiritual search.  Anyway, we had skipped two sessions at her request the first because she had to have some surgery and the second time due to a continued recovery.  I sat down and we started the session and we were doing some closing stuff and my therapist was acting a little weird (not in a psycho kind of weird but a restrained not quite active kind of weird).  At the end of the session she said that we had ended our session and that we were no longer in session.  Then she elaborated what I’m about to say to you is outside the privy of the therapist/patient relationship.  Lastly, she went on to say, “I could lose practice for saying what I’m about to say…  But it is so important that I am compelled by a higher power to disclose it with you…”  Now I was tripping, to say the least.  Then she went on to say that she had cancelled our last meeting because she was recovering from a very difficult surgery.  Then she hit me with it, “While I was in surgery I died…”  ”I was clinically dead for over 20 minutes…”  I was floored.  Then came the ultimate kick directly from the Almighty himself.  She went on to say, “While I was dead a being came to me and said that you are going to go to China and meet a friend there.”  Then, if that wasn’t the coup de grace, this was; she then said, “Do you know someone named Shala because that’s the friend you’ll be meeting there…”

This submission was made under the influence of Coldplay Viva La Vida (which is one of my favorite traveling soundtracks… I highly recommend to all travelers to use it liberally while flying and walking through airports…)

And so it begins…

And so it begins… I was living in San Francisco California when a series of events from 1992 – 1994 propelled me to make the conclusion that I was done with my life in America. That for my emotional well being, personal development and spiritual growth I needed to leave and see the world. Basically a paradigm shift… Let me set this up a bit, at that time I was in the middle of an intense transition in all things, my job was boring, my 3 year marriage was over and this intense yearning to travel was just bursting out of me. Mind you I’d never been outside of the US (except for one trip to Baja Mexico) and I was already 26 years old.

So, I began to pray, meditate and look for some sort of sign as to where to go. I should also say at this time where ever I was going I wanted to go as a Baha’i pioneer (a pioneer is a person who moves to another location to promote the Baha’i teachings and help grow a community in that area. This is a non-paid, totally voluntary act of service). As I was meditating, investigating and thinking about where to go there was a constant recurring theme, repeating itself over and over and over, “China”. I was quite taken aback because I didn’t really have any fondness towards Asiatic culture or people and it definitely was not on my top 10 places.

Now I’ll share a little bit about how I came to go to China, only if you out there reading this don’t begin to think I’m some kook because quite frankly I’m a pretty practical guy, but when you come in contact with those Divine, mystical interventions in your life you can’t just brush them off, especially when it takes you half was across the world to live. As I said I was in a spiritual process and wanted to cast off my homeland and experience all that the world could give me and I’d been praying and meditating on the subject of where to go. Now up until that time prayer and meditation to me was a way to quite myself and make decisions in my life. Usually when I had a difficult decision to make I would humbly offer to God my problem and say guide my decision. I would pray, clear my mind and meditate on the issue at hand. Slowly an idea would manifest and it was almost always a pretty obvious answer. In this same state I put forth the question where to go. This time was very different, in the back of my head (I mean literally the back of my head) a feeling arose… It was as if someone was holding something at the bas of my head, near the neck, almost touching the hair, so that I could barely feel it. This sensation rose over my head (mind you my eyes were closed) and then down towards my lobe. This was a thought, a thought that had taken on semi-material feelings. Then as this thought went to my front lobe it burst into my mind’s eye… “China”. I can still see the word to this day, bright, foreboding and totally unexpected… I was shocked, “China? No, I don’t want to go to China…” Then in this rebellious state I was immediately jarred by my next thought combined with an overwhelming feeling of fear and guilt (most likely partly from my Catholic upbringing). Rebellious because I plain didn’t want to go there, fear and guilt because I’d asked God Himself to help me decide. I was like a big frowning face looking at me saying, “Well, then, why’d ya ask!” These feelings of rebelliousness, fear, guilt then became clouded with confusion and discontent. What to do now, where should I go… (To Be Continued… gotta go to work)  Thank’s Jared, this is a great question to start with…